I am humbled in every way as I prayerfully come to you, my sisters in Christ. Today is a day of obedience to God and His whisper into my heart. I am stepping forward to share my testimony and victorious journey from the perilous road of depression. I hope to edify and encourage each of you during this study, and pray the LORD would make you fruitful for His glory.
To begin, let me say that depression, is an old friend. One that has been a close family friend to many of the women in my family, and a few men. Both of my grandmothers, maternal and paternal, lived with severe depression. In fact, during their thirties they were both hospitalized for depression and attempting suicide, ultimately leading to them BOTH receiving electric shock therapy. The deep roots of depression have long existed for me and my family, through generational pain and hurt.
How did (does) depression manifest in my own personal life? Illness. Physical pain. Emotional outbursts. Disengaged parenting. Sadness. Laziness. The reality of depression can be a slippery slope for me. There have been times, some as recent as two months ago, where it is hard to recognize when I have allowed myself to slip into the deep waters of depressive behavior.
I can recall, easily, many moments where my husband or children have needed me to serve and I blamed illness and disengaged. I have personally spent three days in bed, unable to move from pain. Pain ,that I now believe, was manifested in my body due to the unquenchable sadness that I allowed to take hold of me. Daily.
How did I become "Joyful Socks" again? How did God begin calling me back to a more loving relationship with Him and to receiving the help He was ALWAYS ready to bless me with? The process began here . . .
2 Peter 1:4-9 NKJV
"Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these you might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust:
And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
For these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see far off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins."
I examined this scripture and asked God over and over, "LORD give me more faith!" This seemed a noble and heart-felt prayer. I receive silence as my answer for weeks. I prayed again, "LORD give me a pure heart." Again, noble-sounding, right?
Finally, I received an unwelcome answer from the LORD . . . "But the greatest of these is love. You have not, because you love not."
Depression, at least for me, meant slipping from the road of righteousness and love for others into the trap of self. Depression, as it begins to manifest, begins with self-pity. Selfish-thoughts. Depression is truly the mirror of inward focus.
God is not interested in your comfort or happiness. I know that it sounds terrible, but please hear me out. God's Providence, His great and perfect will in your life, will trump your own comfort every time. God is interested in your character and heart, not your comfort and feelings. His goal is to make you like Christ. Simple.
Okay, now that we have reached the root of the depression issue, how do we get back to the abundance promised to us, as God's chosen? Every journey begins with a first step. This will be ours . . .
CHOOSE.
Joshua 24:15 NKJV
"And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom you will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."
Will I serve the LORD? - or - Will I serve my emotions and my feelings? Will I crucify my flesh on this issue today and lay it before the cross, or will I continue to live in bondage?
You do not belong in the chains of depression, any more than I. Let us take this step together toward God's "exceeding great and precious promises".
Let's begin this week with some prayer and petition. Take a few moments this week to examine this focus scripture:
2 Peter 1:4 NKJV
"Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these you might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust:"
1. What "great and precious promises" do you want to partake of?
List the scriptures that you found your promises in.
2. Choose one scripture each day to pray over your life.
3. Journal how you are hoping the LORD will move you out of depression.
4. Check back in at the blog on THURSDAY for a video encouragement from Joyful Socks.
Know that I am praying for each of you today and throughout the week. May the joy of the LORD be your exceedingly abundant strength today and everyday.
The Joyful Socks Mom
Where we are at?
